Low Self-Esteem Individuals don't Want to Hear about the 'Silver Lining'

Friends dealing with low self-esteem issues may need help. However, a recent study by researchers at the University of Waterloo and Wilfrid Laurier University in Canada found that offering cheerful advice is unlikely to do any good. 

"People with low self-esteem want their loved ones to see them as they see themselves. As such, they are often resistant to their friends' reminders of how positively they see them and reject what we call positive reframing-expressions of optimism and encouragement for bettering their situation," said Professor Denise Marigold, from Renison University College at Waterloo, and lead author of the study, in a news release.

In fact, researchers found that individuals with low self-esteem flat out don't like it when friends and family try and boost their spirits. In other words, these individuals may prefer negative validation, reaffirming the light in which they already see themselves in.

Researchers found no evidence that positive comments actually help boost confidence in low self-esteem individuals. On a similar note, some study participants said that supporting friends with low self-esteem could be frustrating and somewhat overwhelming because these individuals were rarely receptive to positive efforts.

So how can you help out someone dealing with low self-esteem? Researchers said that acknowledging an understanding of their problems as well as supporting their feelings during a difficult time can be a start. 

"If your attempt to point out the silver lining is met with a sullen reminder of the prevailing dark cloud, you might do best to just acknowledge the dark cloud and sympathize," Professor Marigold concluded.

More information regarding the findings can be seen via the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.