Saying No Is Hard--Especially When It Comes To A Potential Date

Saying no is harder than you think, especially when it comes to the dating world. Recent findings published in the journal Psychological Science have shown that when an individual is actually faced with a potential date face to face, he or she may have trouble turning it down.

For the study, researchers at the University of Toronto and Yale University asked study participants to complete their dating profiles, following which they were given three profiles of other participants. These participants were then split into two groups of real and hypothetical partners. Those in the real group were asked if they could meet their dates while the hypothetical group had to content with imagining the meeting, instead.

The participants were then asked to select one favorite profile from the three given to them, with additional information including a photograph of an unattractive person along with a completed questionnaire. Participants were then asked to complete a similar questionnaire and told it would be given to their dates.

"When actually faced with a potential date, we don't like to reject a person and make them feel bad, which is not necessarily something that people anticipate when they imagine making these choices," said lead study author Samantha Joel, in a news release. "The fact that we underestimate how concerned we'll feel about hurting the other person's feelings may help to explain why people's dating decisions often don't match up with their stated dating preferences."

Findings revealed that those in the real group were more likely to accept their dates even if they found a person unattractive-potentially because they did not want to hurt the other person's feelings.

Afterward, participants were given a questionnaire containing information about potential dates that actually held views that were incompatible to theirs. These results were also similar to the first findings.

"I think it's incredible that people care so much about not hurting the feelings of potential dates who they haven't even met if they think they'll actually meet them," Joel concluded. "Next, I'd like to explore how much this concern might come into play when people make later, perhaps more serious relationship decisions."

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