Parents Can Help Their Shy Kids Without Changing Their Nature, Experts Say

When it comes to dealing with shyness, one common thought is that shy people need to change. Worse, some believe they need to be "repaired". While shyness can be alarming due to its connection to the development of mental illnesses, researchers say that parents can certainly help their kids without necessarily changing their nature. It has something to do with knowing how to stand between overprotectiveness and allowing the child to explore.

According to Live Science, studies link shyness and extreme caution about new situations to anxiety disorders. And when parents overprotect their children, things are more likely to get worse. For this, child development specialists and psychologists suggest ways to support shy children. Such ways are centered to allowing the kids to go out of their comfort zone without changing their fundamental natures. According to Sandee McClowry, a psychologist, acceptance is very important in helping a child.

Findings from previous studies showed how having a wallflower personality greatly affects the lives of people concerned. In a research done in 1988 which focused on people born in the late 1920s, experts found that shy men were less likely to marry and had less stable careers compared to outgoing men. The results were opposite for women, wherein the shy ones were more likely to marry and stay at home compared to outgoing women. According to researches, the findings may be different today due to the change in gender roles.

In 2012, studies published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry revealed that children who have the most extreme behavioral inhibition have the greatest chance of developing social anxiety disorder. For this reason, the American Psychological Association suggests seeking professional help for children with extreme shyness. And while parents tend to protect their kids "against new situations", experts said they should not go too far. The best thing to do is observe balance, which specifically means supporting the kid in the beginning then allowing them to be independent little by little. Having a nurturing relationship is also important.

Meanwhile, Babble published an article about being the shy kid. The article promoted the need to improve people's perception about shy people. According to the author, who admitted to be "painfully shy", people especially parents should stop "making our shy kids feel like they need to be fixed when really, it's our attitude towards them that needs to be repaired".