Dr. Venus Nicolino Says Blue Collar Background Informs Her Views on Self Help

Dr. Venus Nicolino grew up in a blue-collar neighborhood in Philadelphia, far removed from her later career as a Los Angeles-based bestselling author and television personality. But she credits her upbringing for sparking her initial interest in what's become a career spent helping others solve their problems.

"I grew up in a working-class family in West Philly. Our small home was tight quarters, with seven people living there and plenty of problems in our neighborhood," she recalled. "An area filled with gritty people who didn't have any quit in them despite these problems. As a child, I'd hear about various issues when neighbors gathered and chatted, and I had a sense that more could be done to solve these problems."

She also developed a no-nonsense, straightforward approach that's become her trademark—one that's easy to see by watching the videos she posts on her Instagram and TikTok channels. She isn't one to mince words or back off from a controversial topic.

Think you can't love anyone until you love yourself? She'll tell you why that's a load of rubbish. Think you'll move forward with relationships by pleasing other people all the time? Think again.

"What people find unique about my approach is my directness. I don't believe in avoiding conflict because avoiding it solves nothing and actually makes things worse," Dr. Venus Nicolino said. "We need to care enough to have the conflict. My belief in one another is also a differentiator, as I have no faith in solo self-help. Without human-to-human engagement, we cannot survive, much less thrive."

From Humble Roots to National Fame

Growing up in Philadelphia, Venus Nicolino said she learned something that's stayed with her: the importance of having a work ethic. She noted that her dad "busted his knuckles on old Chevys for a living." She also learned how to take care of herself.

Those lessons helped inform her career, including her book, Bad Advice: How To Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bulls--t. The book jacket describes her as follows: "Smart and irreverent, Dr. V fuses the brains and insight of a nerdy Ph.D. with the heart of a doting Italian Mother and the artful profanity of a Philly trucker."

Nicolino owns what she calls her "Philly roots." She said, "I think being raised in Philadelphia—you know, Philadelphians, we don't stomach BS very well. There's something about Philly where people can really point out when something is BS. I think that really helped me and inspired me to write Bad Advice."

She's also earned the "nerdy Ph.D" reference. Nicolino has a master's degree in counseling psychology and a doctorate in clinical psychology. In addition to writing her book, she's done more than 100 television episodes and hosts a podcast, "The Tea With Dr. V."

Setting the Record Straight on Bad Advice

Nowhere is Venus Nicolino's knowledge and irreverent attitude better displayed than on the pages of her book. In the introduction, she immediately lets it be known that she has no plans to offer the usual "saccharine, sanctimonious" advice people frequently hear. Her goal is to change how people view both their problems and themselves.

"What if you already have everything you need? What if the reason that it feels like there is no way out of your problems is because your back is to the exit?" she wrote. "What if most of what this society—and by extension your teachers, friends, family, and even therapists—has told you about yourself isn't true?"

Rather than offer "pain-free living," she focuses on helping people "tap into strengths, talents, and potential that are already within you, waiting to be discovered." That starts with self-knowledge and self-understanding, two complex issues that Venus Nicolino, in her typical style, breaks down into understandable definitions.

"Self-knowledge is an understanding of who you are. Self-awareness is an understanding of why you are who you are," she wrote. "You don't have to be a Plato or a Descartes to pull either of these off."

Dr. Venus Nicolino says that writing her book and the other aspects of her career didn't happen because of a "flash of lightning from on high" but rather because of an interest in her fellow human beings that started back in that West Philadelphia neighborhood. Even after all these years, those childhood memories provide inspiration and guidance.

"Sitting on our stoop in West Philly as a kid, I heard neighbors talking about the unrelenting drama of the neighborhood. The more I listened, the more I learned and wondered if solutions were being overlooked," she said. "My natural curiosity led me to a career in psychology, but it's grown into something bigger."